This is the time of your seriousness.

The fabulous Diana has been back in touch. She wants me to contact a reliable agency who will help me get the paperwork needed to get her fathers money. It all seems legit!


hello my babe love, good day and how are you doing this great day and these preserved peaceful moments? i believe your life is well.i thank you so much for your good intention towards me in the receipt of my late father's money and for its good investments in your country ok. may God bless you.  it took me enough time trying to get a reliable agency which i got through the help of the reverend father overseeing this church hostel  where i live ok. the agency told me that they will handle the documents very well for us as soon as you contact them.  the contacts of the agency is below and i want you to contact them without delay so that they will get the documents for you for the bank to release the money from UK to your account soonest ok.  

their contacts: 
MR T C JOSHUA ZONAL
COORDINATOR/ ADMIN
ECOWAS UNDERWRITERS
ECOWASUNDERWRITERS@SENEGALAISEMENT.COM 
telephone 00221773415694   


sweetheart please i want you to contact them so that you can discuss details about this transfer needed documents with them  once more try to know that i do not have any other person that will help me to transfer and invest this money except you. it is only god and you that i have in this world as my helper and i pray and believe that our days will be long so that we should reap the fruit of our labor ok. try to let the agency known that you will be capable to handle this money very well and if possible write to them the investments you wish we should do with this money so that they should be sure of your capability ok.  or you can send the below letter to the agency. 

MR T C JOSHUA ZONAL 
COORDINATOR / ADMIN 
ECOWAS UNDERWRITERS 
ECOWASUNDERWRITERS@SENEGALAISEMENT.COM 
DIRECT LINE 00221773415694  

Sir,  

I got your contact from my partner and darling Miss Diana Fattah Younes who told me that she got your contact through Reverend Jonas there in Senegal . I am writing you to help me get the documents bank want from me so that they can transfer $10.500.000 dollars into my bank account here in my country okay  The bank want from me power of attorney and sworn affidavit of oath which i do not know but i am asking you as a legal agency to help me to get the papers so that i can submit them to the bank soonest before the time they gave me expires .  Please Sir I am urgently waiting for your response and have a good day.  

Yours sincerely, Don Keigh-Dick Tel..................  


 darling please add your telephone send this mail to Ecowas underwriters as soon as you could so that they will get the bank's needed documents for you ok. remember there is time for everything. i think this is the time of your seriousness so that we can achieve our greatness and could lovely stay together to take proper cares of ourselves there. cheers and be highly favoured and more blessings ahead  

In the meantime .........

In the mean time I received this brief note from the 'bank'.



SIR

IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WILL NOT HAVE SOME OF THE DOCUMENTS REQUESTED AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU MUST CONTACT A SENEGAL BASED LEGAL ATTORNEY WHERE MISS DIANNA IS SO THAT HE CAN STAND FOR YOU FOR URGENT PROCESSING OF THE DOCUMENTS.

Make more of an effort.

I replied to Diana from my sick bed, explaining about the documentation required to get the money. I also took her to task about her lack of emotion, It's just not hood enough. She needs to start making a bit more of an effort.



Good morning my gorgeous lady.

Thanks for your email. I am on the mend now thanks for asking. I am looking after myself as I have no one else to take care of me. My neighbour has fetched me some shopping so I am doing ok for food etc. I could really do with you here to mop my fevered brow along with the Kitchen floor.

I am very disappointed that you didn't send me a nice love poem or anything, what with me being so ill. Don't you love me Diana? Are you going off me already?

The bank has asked me for the following pieces of documentation which I assume you have. I am new to all this so don't have a clue how to get them.

1.  A power of attorney permitting you to claim and receive the funds to your  bank account on her behalf.Note:This Power of attorney must been endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer.(Since the young lady is presently residing in  Senegal)

2.The death certificate of (Her deceased father) confirming his death

3.A Certificate Deposit issued to him by our bank.

4. You will send your valid telephone, home or office address with your passport or ID copy.

Can you send them right away please? Until you do, we can't get your fathers money.

You asked what is the meaning of Don Keigh-Dick? It's my name you silly girl!! I told you when we first started writing. My mothers name was Jun Keigh and my fathers name was Roger Dick. When they got married they decided to keep both names and became Mr and Mrs Keigh-Dick. Keigh-Dick is my surnames just as Younnes is yours!! Honestly, you are a silly girl!!

Well I guess I just wait to hear from you again. I hope your next email is a bit longer and a bit nicer. Your last one was a bit abrupt and lacking in emotion. Please make more of an effort.

Lots of love from Don x x x x x x x  x x x x

What is the meaning of don keigh-DICK?

So I told Diana that I was dreadfully ill after being poisoned and this is all I got in return. I don't think she loves me.



my dear good evening and how are feeling today? hope you have fully recovered?
who is taking care of you there more especially when you was in hospital?

what do you mean by they need lots of paperwork relating to my father's death?

what  is the meaning of don keigh-DICK?

More bunkum and bullshittium.

Time to tell Diana about my awful weekend. I bet I get no sympathy whatsoever from her.


Good afternoon Diana

I must apologise for the delay in replying to you. I have been terribly ill for the last few days. After your last email and the one from the bank, I accidentally swallowed a large amount of bunkum which resulted in a severe case of bullshittium poisoning. I was dreadfully ill Diana. I don't mind telling you that I feared the worst.

After I had read yours and the banks emails, I went to make a sandwich for my  lunch. On a high shelf in the cupboard, I keep a bag of granulated bunkum for those times when it is necessary to rid oneself of leaches, rats and similar vermin.  I am not sure how, but some of it must have got into my potted meat which is what I chose for my sandwich filling that day. I started to feel a bit off about an hour after eating it but thought I was just feeling love sick after looking at your beautiful photos. Half an hour later I started being sick. Then I don't really remember much after that. Apparently a neighbour happened to call round and found me collapsed on the floor and called an ambulance. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in hospital. They gave me an antidote to the bunkum (a truth serum) and eventually the bullshittium subsided. It was touch and go though Diana. I was finally released from hospital this morning but I have to take it easy and rest up for the remainder of the week.

Anyway my love, I heard back from the bank. They need lots of paperwork relating to your fathers death. I am assuming that you have all the necessary things so be a good girl and send them to the bank. We can't get hold of the money until you send them.

I have to go and rest now Diana. It would be really lovely to get a romantic, loving email from you. Maybe a love poem or a picture of you holding a sign saying "I love my Don Keigh-Dick".  I am sure that would really help my recovery.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

All my love forever

Your Don Keigh-Dick x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Bullshittium poisoning.

I thought I should contact the bank again after their last wonderfully professional email. I've been ill hence the delay in replying. That bullshittium poisoning can be very nasty.



Dear Mr Garry Nathan

Many thanks for your speedy response to my mail. I apologise for my delay in replying but I have been ill and had to take to my bed. I came down with an acute case of bullshittium poisoning after swallowing a load of bunkum. Silly me! I shan't be doing that again in a hurry!! Anyway, I am on the mend now so no need to worry.

You mentioned several  items of paperwork and documentation that are needed for me, I mean us, to get our hands on the money. Obviously I don't have these so I shall ask my wonderful Diana to forward them to you as I assume she has them all. I shall contact her straight away. I shall let you know as soon as she replies.

Many thanks for your patience in this matter.

Yours sincerely

Mr Don Keigh-Dick

Morally buckle up.

Another reply from Diana came the other day. She's glad of my climactic explanations. That's good then.


good morning darling and how are you doing at the present. please honey i will like to appologize for latness in response which is because of lack of direct connection with me.  i wish you are dwelling fine and in good health. thanks for the climatic explanations which will help me morally to buckle up while coming over.

good and great that you have resume communications with the bank and please darling i want to see what the bank told you as we are just together in all.

remember that we are preparing an endless journey. a journey that will lead to us to possible generational advantages .

all it takes is for you to be please very faithful to me in all areas of life so that we should achieve our success soonest and together there.

remember always that life is miserable to me here as i totally lacks all a young lady need. your maximum cooperation to me to be strong is highly needed always . my feeding is low here and my medications are not taken care of properly. the climats here is not all that okay to my system and it cost me to sometimes be ill but i pray am strong and will be just because of you.


i wish you well always and encourage you to be of good help to me now that i need your help so that when we come up with my inheritance , we should move to our next level ok

have a great day and more blessings ahead and thanks for the informations sent and remember that there are certain things amis in the sent details

Welcome (spinning GIF)

I received this extremely professional looking email back from the 'bank'. Yes, all banks have such wonderful, spinning GIF logos!! They need certain paperwork from me before the transaction can be completed but obviously this is going to cost me. As always, the standard of communication is wonderfully abysmal.

      

 

Sir, Mr Don Keigh-Dick

I  have been  directed by the director of Foreign Operation/ Wire Transfer to write you in respect to your mail and your partner's mail which we received in our Bank. Actually,we have earlier been informed about you by the young lady Miss Diana Abdel Fattah Younes.(the next of kin) that she wishes you to be her trustee/represent  for the claim of her late father's deposit with this bank.


Late (DR ABDEL FATAH YOUNES)  is our late customer with sum substantial amount of money he deposit with us,$10.5MDollars.(Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars).Hence you have been really appointed as a trustee to represent the next of Kin.How ever before our bank will transact any business concerning the transfer of the fund to your bank,we will like you to send the followings immediately to our bank.

1.  A power of attorney permitting you to claim and receive the funds to your  bank account on her behalf.Note:This Power of attorney must been endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer.(Since the young lady is presently residing in  Senegal)

2.The death certificate of (Her deceased father) confirming his death

3.A Certificate Deposit issued to him by our bank.

4. You will send your valid telephone, home or office address with your passport or ID copy.

Note:The above are compulsory,and are needed to protect our interest,yours and the next of kin after the transfer has been made. Therefore You have to hurry up to present these documents to our bank to enable us wire the fund ( US$10,500,000.00 )into your account.These shall also ensure that a smooth,quick and successful transfer of the fund will be made.

(We promise to give our customers the best of our services.)

Should you have any question(s),please contact our Foreign Operational
Director- DR BRIAN WILSTON, through our Phone for more directives/clarifications with +447857905041

Yours Faithfully,

Mr. Garry Nathan
(Foreign Operation/Wire Transfer Dept).
R.B.S

Betamax. A good investment right?

I replied to Diana's last email giving her the information she required PROPERLY. I omitted a phone number of course. How very remiss of me.  Betamax video players are a good investment right?
 

Good morning my darling Diana.

I hope this finds you well and happy.  We are deep in snow here in England so today is very chilly.  The river Miface has frozen over and the village of Jizz-on-Miface  is covered in a thick,  creamy, white deposit. I think the gods may have seen your photos!! I think I may have to dig myself out if it carries on.

I emailed the bank as you ask my dear and am awaiting their reply. In the meantime, here is the information you requested from me.

your full names  - Don Juan Marmalade Ringo Keigh-Dick
your telephone number -
your profession - World famous artist
Age - 47
your country - England
the investments we should do in your country with this money -

I need a little more time to finalise my plans for investments but so far I am keen to invest in Betamax Video players,  Sinclair C5's and cheese. I will draw up a more comprehensive list shortly.

I just want to reassure you Diana that I am a trustworthy personnel and will do my best to help you to your (apple) core.

I do have a confession to make Diana. I think I am in love with you. I have tried to fight these feelings as we have known each other for such a short time but I can't help it. You are the most wonderful woman I have never met. You are beautiful, clever, incredibly literate and smart. I just can't wait until we can be together as a proper couple and I finally get to nibble on your apple.

For now my dear, I have to go. Please take care of yourself my beloved girl.

All my love

Don x x x x x x x x x x x

Not as a foreigner but as my apple.

Just as a logged on and emailed the bank, Diana sent me this email. It has the usual lack of punctuation, grammar and capital letters and interesting uses of the words apple and ginger. I wish she'd make her mind up too. One minute she isn't bothered about the inheritance, just having enough money so she doesn't starve and the next, she wants to know how we will invest it. Fickle woman.

 

 

 

hi my beloved

i sincerely and lovely admired your response and i wholeheartedly say big thanks to you and at the same time i want to plead that you will please never allow this our communications to end in internet ok. you see i really observed that money is not everything as it is just a mere thing to buy what someone want excluding love. love is love and love is real when partner involved agreed that it is real otherwise it is less committed or take note of.

i do not consider money as much but this my now condition money is needed so that i can not die of hunger and starvation. i want you to know that i am not a rich woman as you  may think but i inherited enough money from my late father that is why it seemed that i am a rich woman and besides the money is not into my care now as it is in a bank in united kingdom  and i can not claim it because it was deposited as investment money by my late father. i pray that you could have enough time to read this my mail to better understanding ok.

i need a true love and if i can have it, i think all my sorrowful should be over because i want someone that could care and love me not as a foreigner but as his love and as his apple.

it will do me great if you will consider me as your good friend and future reliable joint investment partner so that we should be able to achieve all our common goals on this earth together.

i want an assurance of your capability to handle this huge amount of money successfully for our everlasting financial growth.

Please i will like to introduce you to the bank where this money is as my trustee and foreign investments live partner and closer friend to enable the bank understand our closer relationship to backing us up in the fair and legal transfer of this money to your position for our reliable investments.

furthermore i want you to PROPERLY  send to me the following informations;

your full names ..............
your telephone number.....,,.......................
your profession....................................
Age..............................................................;
your country..........................
the investments we should do in your country with this money.....

if you can lovely read and comply with all the above things that i wrote it will ginger me mostly to entrust this my inheritance to you and also could be able to introduce you officially to bank for them To urgently arrange the transfer of this my inherited money to your control without delay .

i do not have anybody beside me to faithfully entrust because i was humiliated by my step mother and my late father's blood relatives immediately my parents died. this is a very disappointing  issue that i should like to explain to you when this transfer is successful and by the special grace of God  you will lovely help me to be together with you as soon as this money gets to your control ok.

i know you have answered most of the things i wrote here but kindly read and reply them with assurance as i lacks trustworthy personel and will like to be very sure that you could be able to help me to the core . cheers and please i awaits your urgent response

The bank.

I promised Diana that I would contact the bank so I thought I'd better do it. Eventually. I am positive that most banks have an email address like this:  royalbankof_scotland@accountant.com. Seems legit.

Dear Mr Gary Nathan.

I am contacting you on behalf of my girlfriend, Miss Diana Younes in respect to the inheritance left to her by her late father. I am now her leagal representative in this country and will be dealing with the matter on her behalf from now on.

I would be grateful if you could send me further details on how I can get my hands on her money.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Don Keigh-Dick.

I want a doctor, to take your picture ......

I don't want Diana to get fed up and stop emailing so I have promised to email the bank about her late fathers money. I'll do that soon. Let her wait a while longer.  I still want to know more about her, as do The Vapours!



Good evening my gorgeous darling Diana.
I hope my message finds you well and happy. I read your last email with the subject 'hamburger' and have to say, I was a little confused. Cheers and what is hamburger? Thank you for the beautiful pictures of you. I'm so glad you managed to find a professional photographic studio to take them for you. You really are beautiful. Have you ever considered stopping your medical studies at the college of aviation to become a model?
I understand that you are in dreadful circumstances over there and it breaks my heart. I want to do all I can to help you my love. I still wish you were more forthcoming with information about yourself and I will expect this from you in the future if I am to help you.
I am currently travelling back from setting up my new exhibition so am feeling a little weary at present. Tomorrow when I have rested and eaten a glorious, fulfilling meal of cheese, I shall email the bank as you requested.
Please tell me more about yourself, not just your present circumstances but of your life and family before the tragedy. I want to know you inside and out. I've got your picture, I've got your picture. I'd like a million of you all round my cell. I'd want a doctor, to take a picture so I can look at you from inside as well. You got me turning up, and turning down and turning in and turning round. I'm turning into cheese, I think I'm turning into cheese. I really think so.
Goodnight
Love and Stilton from
Your Don xx xx xx xx xx xx

Hamburger. ok.

I've heard back from Diana ok. I received an email with the title Hamburger. Yes, Hamburger ok. There is absolutely no reference to hamburgers in the email ok. None at all ok. But lots of use of the word ok. ok? Poor Diana doesn't have money to go to the cyber to write to me and she still hasn't answered my questions. She did send me yet more very professional looking photos of herself. I didn't realise that refugee camps had  professional photographic studios in them. She also sent me a 'copy' of her refugee I.D card. So professionally done and with a photo that is a completely different woman!




my dear good evening and a happy weekend to you
i wish you well and thank you so much for handmaking an image of me ok
please dear i want you to know that life has carried me beyond my calculations to the extend that i am so much focused on what i want which is being together with you and for you to help me to achieve this greatness whicb remains transferring this my inheritance and bringing me to your closest and having an established live investments with this my late father's money there in your country ok.
my dear please and please and please i still beg you to kindly forgive whatever erro i have made during our communications ok
follow me the best way you can so that i can be beneficial to you now and tomorrows.
i truely want ur everlasting relationship
remember that i do not have laptop nor money to go to the cyber to check and write you at will as here is reverend's office computer which serves for all the church hostel members. because of it most of the times here is conjested ok

i pray you will find some place in your heart to forgive my mistakes and take me directly as yours for ever .
am gld you are a wealthy man and as you can see , my interest is not so much in your wealth but in your kindness and capability to concentrate well to help me

i wish you a pleasant weekend and more blessings ahead

A little bit iof give and take.

I think it's time Diana started to work for her money. If she wants me to to do what she wants, I expect the same in return. As well as setting out my  requirements, I have sent her an in-depth description of what cheese is. Seriously, how can anyone not know what cheese is?!!  I have of course, attached some lovely hand drawn pictures of various cheeses for her perusal.


Good morning Diana.

Oh Diana, Diana, Diana! What am I going to do with you eh? You initially emailed me as you were looking for a relationship. I have given you every opportunity to allow me to get to know you but you really aren't making much of an effort are you? I sent you a hand painted portrait of yourself, painted by myself (I am a very well known artist my dear) that you ignored completely. I asked you to answer a few simple questions to help me get to know you and you chose not to. I want to help you so much my love, I want to get you out of your awful situation, believe me I do but I simply cannot do that as strangers.

I am a wealthy man Diana and will share all I have with the right woman. Do you actually want a relationship with me? I am prepared to do what you ask of me with regard to your late fathers money but this cannot be a one way street. I am not asking for or expecting financial recompense for helping you, what I want in return is simple. I want a relationship with you Diana, oh beautiful Diana. Are you prepared to let me get to know you properly in return for me helping you obtain your fathers money?

I shall email the bank as you asked, once you have answered the simple questions I sent you. I don't think that's too much to ask really, do you? I need to know you are committed to our relationship and that I can trust you. Once you start to make a bit more of an effort, I will do whatever you ask my love. I think that's fair don't you?

You asked me what cheese is? Cheese is a wonderful food stuff that I adore. Please take some time to read the Wikki entry about Cheese here.

Cheese is a food derived from milk that is produced in a wide range of flavours, textures, and forms by coagulation of the milk protein casein. It comprises proteins and fat from milk, usually the milk of cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep. During production, the milk is usually acidified, and adding the enzyme rennet causes coagulation. The solids are separated and pressed into final form.^[1] Some cheeses have molds on the rind or throughout. Most cheeses melt at cooking temperature.
Hundreds of types of cheese from various countries are produced. Their styles, textures and flavors depend on the origin of the milk (including the animal's diet), whether they have been pasteurized, the butterfat content, the bacteria and mold, the processing, and aging. Herbs, spices, or wood smoke may be used as flavoring agents. The yellow to red color of many cheeses, such as Red Leicester, is produced by adding annatto. Other ingredients may be added to some cheeses, such as black peppers, garlic, chives or cranberries.
For a few cheeses, the milk is curdled by adding acids such as vinegar or lemon juice. Most cheeses are acidified to a lesser degree by bacteria, which turn milk sugars into lactic acid, then the addition of rennet completes the curdling. Vegetarian alternatives to rennet are available; most are produced by fermentation of the fungus Mucor miehei, but others have been extracted from various species of the Cynara thistle family.
Cheese is valued for its portability, long life, and high content of fat, protein, calcium, and phosphorus. Cheese is more compact and has a longer shelf life than milk, although how long a cheese will keep may depend on the type of cheese; labels on packets of cheese often claim that a cheese should be consumed within three to five days of opening. Generally speaking, hard cheeses last longer than soft cheeses, such as Brie or goat's milk cheese. Cheese makers near a dairy region may benefit from fresher, lower-priced milk, and lower shipping costs. The long storage life of some cheese, especially if it is encased in a protective rind, allows selling when markets are favourable.
A specialist seller of cheese is sometimes known as a cheesemonger. Becoming an expert in this field requires some formal education and years of tasting and hands-on experience, much like becoming an expert in wine or cuisine. The cheesemonger is responsible for all aspects of the cheese inventory: selecting the cheese menu, purchasing, receiving, storage, and ripening.
There is some debate as to the best way to store cheese, but some experts say that wrapping it in cheese paper provides optimal results. Cheese paper is coated in a porous plastic on the inside, and the outside has a layer of wax. This specific combination of plastic on the inside and wax on the outside protects the cheese by allowing condensation on the cheese to be wicked away while preventing moisture from within the cheese to escape.

Here is a link to a great website all about cheese too http://www.cheese.com/

I have also attached some pictures I have done relating to cheese . I hope you enjoy them.

Anyway my beloved, I really look forward to hearing back from you very soon. Remember I want to help you and will do anything you ask if you do what I ask in return.

Have a good day.

All my love

Don x x x x x x x x x 

Babybel

Cheddar

Edam

Gorgonzola

Leerdammer

cheers and what is cheese?

Well it didn't take Diana long to reply. The cheeky mare just goes on about the  money again, no answers to any of my questions and no mention of my drawings. There will be trouble ahead ..........


good afternoon dear and how are you doing
i want you to first understand that i do not have laptop but works in the reverend office with all the church hostel members

i want you to know that what interest me is for you to stand and help me to so that we should achieve this money transfer or you come down here so that we can meet in person soonest
i wish you well and darling due to my stay and agony living here, i need you for my improved lifestyle

cheers and what is cheese?

A short questionnaire.

It's about time to reply to Diana. All she talked about in her last email was 'the money'. Don doesn't want to talk about the money until he knows her a bit better.  He wants to know what her favourite cheese is. She'd better answer the questionnaire or there'll be trouble! He's also attached a few portraits from his upcoming exhibition. Let's see if she mentions them at all.


Dearest Diana

Many thanks for your email. I was more than a little upset that you didn't thank me for the wonderful portrait I painted of you. Didn't you like it? I really think I captured your inner beauty. I thought it would have made you smile seeing as you are going through such a hard time at the moment. It really was incredibly ungrateful of you not to even mention it. I am most upset.

I would really love to know more about you Diana. If we are going to allow a relationship to develop, we must get to know each other more. I have devised a short questionnaire that would help so if you'd be so kind as to complete it, I'd be most grateful.

1) Do you have any brothers or sisters?
2) Where is your favourite holiday destination?
3) Who is your favourite author?
4) Do you have any pets?
5) What's your favourite cheese?
6) Red or white wine?
7) Blur or Oasis?
8) Top or bottom?
9) What is your greatest achievement?
10) Do you think it would be possible to overthrow the government, smash the current capitalist system and live in a socialist ideal?


Please take  small amount of time out of your day to answer those questions. It  would mean a lot to me my love.

You mention in your email about some money. I don't really want to discuss such matters until we have got to know each other better. We are virtual strangers, floating messages back and forth in the vast space known as the internet. Diana, I want to know you, to care for you and to love you. Lets chat a bit more first then we can get down to matters of a financial nature. I want to be able to help you, honestly I do but to me, our relationship is far more important than any money you may have.

Is there anything you want to know about me my love? I don't want to just waffle on and bore you so feel free to ask me anything you want. I will always be honest with you my darling.

I have a major exhibition coming up in London so am in the process of collating my work. It's called "Celebrities as never seen before" and features portraits of many famous people. I have attached a few to show you. I hope you enjoy them.

Well my darling Diana, I shall bid thee farewell for now. Please write back to me soon. I am really looking forward to getting to know you much, much better.

Take care of yourself sweetheart.

With love from

Don x x x x x x x x

It's all about the money.

So, Diana ignored my beautiful portrait that I did of her. How very dare she?! I am most upset and shall make sure I let her know when I next email. It's all about the money. There are no niceties  or even a hint of romance from her. I am most disappointed! The fax number looks like a British mobile phone number. How odd.




Dearest in Heart
How are you hope that you are  doing well over there,
Please i have not told no one except you about the existence of this money and i will like you to please keep it secret to other people because since it is money all eyes will be on it. Mind you that i have putting all my trust and hope on you believing God that you will not disappoint me.

I have informed the bank about you. and the bank said that you should contact them, in this regard i will like you to contact with the bank through their email Address, just tell them that you are my partner and you want to know the possibility on how to help me transfer my $ 10.5Million US dollars deposited by my late father  of which i am the next of kin to your account. The contact information of the bank is as follows:


ROYAL BANK  OF SCOTLAND .
Email address (royalbankof_scotland@accountant.com)    
Email address   (royalbank@contractor.net)                                
The name of the transfer officer  IS Sir Garry Nathan.
FAX  NUMBER   +447779514312)
My late father account number; A/C RBSUK745608902546/QB/91/A

I am glad that God has brought you to see me out from this situation and i promise to be kind and i will equally need you in every area of my life plus investing this money since i will be going back to my studies. As I told you before, this camp is just like a prison and my prayers are to move out from here as soon as possible.

Please make sure that you contacted the bank so that after the transfer you can send some money from that money for me to prepare my traveling documents to meet with you in your country. there is something i will like to hear from you, so now that we are going through the transfer where and what kind of business are you thinking that we can start investing from as for me i think of stocks and shares do i believe you will know better so what do you think, hoping to hear from you, thanks and remain bless.
Awaiting to hear from you soonest
Diana

My first work of art.

I reply to her last email and send her a hand painted picture of herself. I hope she likes it!




Good evening my darling Diana.

Thank you so much for your speedy response.  I am glad you liked the photos and don't think I am too ugly or old for you. You are such a beautiful young lady I am scared you will find someone more your own age.  Hopefully we will get to know each other and have lots in common.

As I said in my previous email, I am an artist. I am incredibly well known in this country and abroad with many of my works selling for considerable sums of money. My work is unique and striking with many likening it to that of Picasso or Monet. I like to think I have a style that is all my own, one you will see nowhere else on this planet.

After seeing your photos, I was drawn to painting you. I just could not resist. Your beautiful eyes and your captivating smile have me entranced. I have attached the painting I have done of you and hope that you like it. I think I have really captured the essence of you. Not just the physical, but your inner beauty. Please let me know what you think of it my darling.

For now I shall bid you good evening and hope this finds you in good health and spirit.

Fondest regards

Don x x x x x 



And here is the picture!!

 

Romantic guff with terrible punctuation.

I continue to ignore her last email so she sent me this load of old guff and some more photos to tempt me.



Hello my sweet heart
Love doesnt say how old is you but do you love me. Love only says You are a my sweet heart, i do love u so so much I love you.Thanks of you love photos you send to me i love them you looking good  Love doesnt as who are you form but  Love only says you are mine.Love doesnt ask where are you from.Love only says you live in my heart.Love doesnt ask what do you do.Love only says you make me heart beat. Love doesnt ask why are you faraway. Love only says you  are always with me. and you are my love and i send you some photos of me  am really glad you emailed me back. I have a good feeling about you my love may good god bless you of me  yours Diana

She's quick off the mark.

Well Diana doesn't waste much time does she? Straight in there with the plea for  money . I have chosen to ignore it completely.

 

 

 

 

my dearest.

I am writing this mail with tears and sorrow to seek for your assistance regards to my  situation since the death of my father. My name is Miss.Diana Fattah Younes  , originated from Benghazi- Libya , North Africa, My father late General Abdel Fattah Younes who was shot death by Islamist-linked militia within the anti-Gaddafi forces on 28th July, 2011 as result of civil war that going on in my country Libya.

I am now writing to seek your assistance from Dakar , Senegal  where i managed to escaped peacefully through the help of United Nation, and now seeking asylum in church hostel here in Dakar, Senegal.  you can call me through this phone number +221 776 885 074 .  it is the number of the reverend father in charge of this church hostel . his name is reverend father Jonas Daniel, if you call just let him know that you want to speak with me, he will send for me in the church hostel/

Meanwhile, the main reason why i am seeking for your assistance is because of some money my late father deposited in one of the banks in London which amount are Ten Million  Five Hundred Thousand Dollars ($10.5M). It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be our capital in your establishment.

Honestly, i have tried everything possible to claim the money, unfortunately i failed because of our refugee status.However, i have being advised by the bank manager to look for foreign partner who will help me claim the fund because the bank officials will not release the fund due to my refugee status. Please get back to me if you are interesting by assisting me claim the fund, so that i will give you all the details /contact of the bank where the fund are deposited.

I want the fund to be transferred into your account before i can come over to join you for me to come over to your country and continue my education i was in the school of aviation before the incident that lead to the war started and As soon as i receive your interest in assisting me, we will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, i shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and   willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

Yours Faithfully,Diana

A bit more about the lovely Don.

Here is a little more about the charming Don and his family.  I hope she likes him. I also sent a few pictures. I just clicked a few profiles on Facebook until came across one that was open with no mutual friends and in a different country! It's so easy! 



Good morning my dear girl.

Many thanks for you mail and photos. I must say, you are a stunning bit of totty my dear! You are absolutely beautiful.

So, what are you looking for in a man? Someone to sweep you off you feet and look after you or a bit of no strings fun?

I shall tell you a bit about myself seeing as you did the same.

My name is Don. My mother was Jun Keigh (she was Korean) and my father was a bit of a Dick, (Rodger). I grew up in London but moved to a small village on the banks of the River Miface called Jizz. Jizz-on-Miface is a lovely village and I have made it my home for the past 10 years. I had to leave London after a bit of an incident involving some custard creams, a warthog and a picture of Jocky Wilson, but the least said about that the better!

I am an artist with my own house and studio and have a pet dog called Vladimir. I love music, photography and running. I try to keep fit and healthy and young looking. I am sure a beautiful young lady like you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with an old man!

I am sorry to hear about your current troubles. It must be very difficult for you. I am sure things will soon pick up and get better. Just stay strong my dear and don't give up. Just let me know if I can help in any way.

I have to go now as I am in the middle of getting my artwork ready for a new exhibition. I have attached some photos of myself so you can see what I look like. I hope they don't put you off too much! I'd love to hear a bit more about you Diana and am really glad you emailed me back. I have a good feeling about this.


Here is Don.

 

Diana

Here is the first proper message to me from Diana. It's very badly written as usual and guess what? Her parents are dead and she is under asylum! Now where have I heard that before?!! She also attached some pictures.

 
Hello my belovedHopefully my mail will find you in good health condition.
I am sorry to worry you for my proposal on my search for serious relationship with you.
I know you would be surprised to read from someone relatively unknown to you before.
Really i was impress greetings‏‏‏‏‏s to communicate to you more after receiving your mail ok as i believe that it take one a day to meet a God fearing one Do not get yourself confuse why i am writing you this mail It is my pleasure communicating with you for the first time and believing that it will lead to a better relationship between us.
My name is Miss Diana Fattah Younes
I’m single and i never married before,
I am 5'7''  tall, 25 years old.
i like gardening and cooking better meals. i like strolling in the cool evenings. i like being in beaches during the weekend to view the sea breeze and storms etc. I’m a medical student but i have not yet completed my educational career as result of some political and bad government we had which lead to war in my home country. I am from Libya but presently staying in Senegal under asylum due to this problems and crises that has displace my entire relatives and left my parents to death.I managed to make my escape only by God's special grace with the help of united nation peacemaking to a near by country Senegal where i am leaving currently
cheers from yours Miss Diana