More bunkum and bullshittium.

Time to tell Diana about my awful weekend. I bet I get no sympathy whatsoever from her.


Good afternoon Diana

I must apologise for the delay in replying to you. I have been terribly ill for the last few days. After your last email and the one from the bank, I accidentally swallowed a large amount of bunkum which resulted in a severe case of bullshittium poisoning. I was dreadfully ill Diana. I don't mind telling you that I feared the worst.

After I had read yours and the banks emails, I went to make a sandwich for my  lunch. On a high shelf in the cupboard, I keep a bag of granulated bunkum for those times when it is necessary to rid oneself of leaches, rats and similar vermin.  I am not sure how, but some of it must have got into my potted meat which is what I chose for my sandwich filling that day. I started to feel a bit off about an hour after eating it but thought I was just feeling love sick after looking at your beautiful photos. Half an hour later I started being sick. Then I don't really remember much after that. Apparently a neighbour happened to call round and found me collapsed on the floor and called an ambulance. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in hospital. They gave me an antidote to the bunkum (a truth serum) and eventually the bullshittium subsided. It was touch and go though Diana. I was finally released from hospital this morning but I have to take it easy and rest up for the remainder of the week.

Anyway my love, I heard back from the bank. They need lots of paperwork relating to your fathers death. I am assuming that you have all the necessary things so be a good girl and send them to the bank. We can't get hold of the money until you send them.

I have to go and rest now Diana. It would be really lovely to get a romantic, loving email from you. Maybe a love poem or a picture of you holding a sign saying "I love my Don Keigh-Dick".  I am sure that would really help my recovery.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

All my love forever

Your Don Keigh-Dick x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Bullshittium poisoning.

I thought I should contact the bank again after their last wonderfully professional email. I've been ill hence the delay in replying. That bullshittium poisoning can be very nasty.



Dear Mr Garry Nathan

Many thanks for your speedy response to my mail. I apologise for my delay in replying but I have been ill and had to take to my bed. I came down with an acute case of bullshittium poisoning after swallowing a load of bunkum. Silly me! I shan't be doing that again in a hurry!! Anyway, I am on the mend now so no need to worry.

You mentioned several  items of paperwork and documentation that are needed for me, I mean us, to get our hands on the money. Obviously I don't have these so I shall ask my wonderful Diana to forward them to you as I assume she has them all. I shall contact her straight away. I shall let you know as soon as she replies.

Many thanks for your patience in this matter.

Yours sincerely

Mr Don Keigh-Dick