Not as a foreigner but as my apple.

Just as a logged on and emailed the bank, Diana sent me this email. It has the usual lack of punctuation, grammar and capital letters and interesting uses of the words apple and ginger. I wish she'd make her mind up too. One minute she isn't bothered about the inheritance, just having enough money so she doesn't starve and the next, she wants to know how we will invest it. Fickle woman.

 

 

 

hi my beloved

i sincerely and lovely admired your response and i wholeheartedly say big thanks to you and at the same time i want to plead that you will please never allow this our communications to end in internet ok. you see i really observed that money is not everything as it is just a mere thing to buy what someone want excluding love. love is love and love is real when partner involved agreed that it is real otherwise it is less committed or take note of.

i do not consider money as much but this my now condition money is needed so that i can not die of hunger and starvation. i want you to know that i am not a rich woman as you  may think but i inherited enough money from my late father that is why it seemed that i am a rich woman and besides the money is not into my care now as it is in a bank in united kingdom  and i can not claim it because it was deposited as investment money by my late father. i pray that you could have enough time to read this my mail to better understanding ok.

i need a true love and if i can have it, i think all my sorrowful should be over because i want someone that could care and love me not as a foreigner but as his love and as his apple.

it will do me great if you will consider me as your good friend and future reliable joint investment partner so that we should be able to achieve all our common goals on this earth together.

i want an assurance of your capability to handle this huge amount of money successfully for our everlasting financial growth.

Please i will like to introduce you to the bank where this money is as my trustee and foreign investments live partner and closer friend to enable the bank understand our closer relationship to backing us up in the fair and legal transfer of this money to your position for our reliable investments.

furthermore i want you to PROPERLY  send to me the following informations;

your full names ..............
your telephone number.....,,.......................
your profession....................................
Age..............................................................;
your country..........................
the investments we should do in your country with this money.....

if you can lovely read and comply with all the above things that i wrote it will ginger me mostly to entrust this my inheritance to you and also could be able to introduce you officially to bank for them To urgently arrange the transfer of this my inherited money to your control without delay .

i do not have anybody beside me to faithfully entrust because i was humiliated by my step mother and my late father's blood relatives immediately my parents died. this is a very disappointing  issue that i should like to explain to you when this transfer is successful and by the special grace of God  you will lovely help me to be together with you as soon as this money gets to your control ok.

i know you have answered most of the things i wrote here but kindly read and reply them with assurance as i lacks trustworthy personel and will like to be very sure that you could be able to help me to the core . cheers and please i awaits your urgent response

The bank.

I promised Diana that I would contact the bank so I thought I'd better do it. Eventually. I am positive that most banks have an email address like this:  royalbankof_scotland@accountant.com. Seems legit.

Dear Mr Gary Nathan.

I am contacting you on behalf of my girlfriend, Miss Diana Younes in respect to the inheritance left to her by her late father. I am now her leagal representative in this country and will be dealing with the matter on her behalf from now on.

I would be grateful if you could send me further details on how I can get my hands on her money.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Don Keigh-Dick.

Hamburger. ok.

I've heard back from Diana ok. I received an email with the title Hamburger. Yes, Hamburger ok. There is absolutely no reference to hamburgers in the email ok. None at all ok. But lots of use of the word ok. ok? Poor Diana doesn't have money to go to the cyber to write to me and she still hasn't answered my questions. She did send me yet more very professional looking photos of herself. I didn't realise that refugee camps had  professional photographic studios in them. She also sent me a 'copy' of her refugee I.D card. So professionally done and with a photo that is a completely different woman!




my dear good evening and a happy weekend to you
i wish you well and thank you so much for handmaking an image of me ok
please dear i want you to know that life has carried me beyond my calculations to the extend that i am so much focused on what i want which is being together with you and for you to help me to achieve this greatness whicb remains transferring this my inheritance and bringing me to your closest and having an established live investments with this my late father's money there in your country ok.
my dear please and please and please i still beg you to kindly forgive whatever erro i have made during our communications ok
follow me the best way you can so that i can be beneficial to you now and tomorrows.
i truely want ur everlasting relationship
remember that i do not have laptop nor money to go to the cyber to check and write you at will as here is reverend's office computer which serves for all the church hostel members. because of it most of the times here is conjested ok

i pray you will find some place in your heart to forgive my mistakes and take me directly as yours for ever .
am gld you are a wealthy man and as you can see , my interest is not so much in your wealth but in your kindness and capability to concentrate well to help me

i wish you a pleasant weekend and more blessings ahead

A little bit iof give and take.

I think it's time Diana started to work for her money. If she wants me to to do what she wants, I expect the same in return. As well as setting out my  requirements, I have sent her an in-depth description of what cheese is. Seriously, how can anyone not know what cheese is?!!  I have of course, attached some lovely hand drawn pictures of various cheeses for her perusal.


Good morning Diana.

Oh Diana, Diana, Diana! What am I going to do with you eh? You initially emailed me as you were looking for a relationship. I have given you every opportunity to allow me to get to know you but you really aren't making much of an effort are you? I sent you a hand painted portrait of yourself, painted by myself (I am a very well known artist my dear) that you ignored completely. I asked you to answer a few simple questions to help me get to know you and you chose not to. I want to help you so much my love, I want to get you out of your awful situation, believe me I do but I simply cannot do that as strangers.

I am a wealthy man Diana and will share all I have with the right woman. Do you actually want a relationship with me? I am prepared to do what you ask of me with regard to your late fathers money but this cannot be a one way street. I am not asking for or expecting financial recompense for helping you, what I want in return is simple. I want a relationship with you Diana, oh beautiful Diana. Are you prepared to let me get to know you properly in return for me helping you obtain your fathers money?

I shall email the bank as you asked, once you have answered the simple questions I sent you. I don't think that's too much to ask really, do you? I need to know you are committed to our relationship and that I can trust you. Once you start to make a bit more of an effort, I will do whatever you ask my love. I think that's fair don't you?

You asked me what cheese is? Cheese is a wonderful food stuff that I adore. Please take some time to read the Wikki entry about Cheese here.

Cheese is a food derived from milk that is produced in a wide range of flavours, textures, and forms by coagulation of the milk protein casein. It comprises proteins and fat from milk, usually the milk of cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep. During production, the milk is usually acidified, and adding the enzyme rennet causes coagulation. The solids are separated and pressed into final form.^[1] Some cheeses have molds on the rind or throughout. Most cheeses melt at cooking temperature.
Hundreds of types of cheese from various countries are produced. Their styles, textures and flavors depend on the origin of the milk (including the animal's diet), whether they have been pasteurized, the butterfat content, the bacteria and mold, the processing, and aging. Herbs, spices, or wood smoke may be used as flavoring agents. The yellow to red color of many cheeses, such as Red Leicester, is produced by adding annatto. Other ingredients may be added to some cheeses, such as black peppers, garlic, chives or cranberries.
For a few cheeses, the milk is curdled by adding acids such as vinegar or lemon juice. Most cheeses are acidified to a lesser degree by bacteria, which turn milk sugars into lactic acid, then the addition of rennet completes the curdling. Vegetarian alternatives to rennet are available; most are produced by fermentation of the fungus Mucor miehei, but others have been extracted from various species of the Cynara thistle family.
Cheese is valued for its portability, long life, and high content of fat, protein, calcium, and phosphorus. Cheese is more compact and has a longer shelf life than milk, although how long a cheese will keep may depend on the type of cheese; labels on packets of cheese often claim that a cheese should be consumed within three to five days of opening. Generally speaking, hard cheeses last longer than soft cheeses, such as Brie or goat's milk cheese. Cheese makers near a dairy region may benefit from fresher, lower-priced milk, and lower shipping costs. The long storage life of some cheese, especially if it is encased in a protective rind, allows selling when markets are favourable.
A specialist seller of cheese is sometimes known as a cheesemonger. Becoming an expert in this field requires some formal education and years of tasting and hands-on experience, much like becoming an expert in wine or cuisine. The cheesemonger is responsible for all aspects of the cheese inventory: selecting the cheese menu, purchasing, receiving, storage, and ripening.
There is some debate as to the best way to store cheese, but some experts say that wrapping it in cheese paper provides optimal results. Cheese paper is coated in a porous plastic on the inside, and the outside has a layer of wax. This specific combination of plastic on the inside and wax on the outside protects the cheese by allowing condensation on the cheese to be wicked away while preventing moisture from within the cheese to escape.

Here is a link to a great website all about cheese too http://www.cheese.com/

I have also attached some pictures I have done relating to cheese . I hope you enjoy them.

Anyway my beloved, I really look forward to hearing back from you very soon. Remember I want to help you and will do anything you ask if you do what I ask in return.

Have a good day.

All my love

Don x x x x x x x x x 

Babybel

Cheddar

Edam

Gorgonzola

Leerdammer